


all-encompassing

by Riki



Series: written with a kink prompt [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Bondage, Butt Plugs, Chubby Yuuri, Comfort, Don't copy to another site, Fluff, I don't know how much of this makes realistic sense but it was cathartic to write, M/M, Oral Sex, Some attempts at humor, body image issues, dom viktor, facefucking but soft?, soft D/s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:35:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22738129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riki/pseuds/Riki
Summary: Yuuri's body has changed a lot since he'd retired, and he doesn't really mind. Neither of them does, as far as he can tell. The new favorite cuddle position has Viktor's face pressed into Yuuri's stomach, where he can kiss and nuzzle in, and it's lovely. Sweet and comfortable and loving.So Yuuri doesn't mind. Until the moments he does.Viktor does his best to soothe Yuuri's insecurities, even if they don't make much sense to him. It's not entirely about the weight and not entirely about the sex, but it works out.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Series: written with a kink prompt [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1655365
Comments: 68
Kudos: 228





	all-encompassing

**Author's Note:**

> "Body image issues" is as close as I could think to tag it, but it feels... inaccurate. Please be careful if you decide to read on.  
> This is the most deeply personal story I've ever shared. My hands shook when I posted it. I sincerely hope you enjoy the read!
> 
> Thank you for the beta, [thewalrus_said](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewalrus_said/)!  
> And to [mitisvenatrix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitisvenatrix/pseuds/mitisvenatrix) for the support in letting it be more true to what I wanted.

"Oh," Yuuri says when he wears Viktor's shirt. "Did this one shrink?"

It's the shirt Viktor had worn earlier, until Yuuri pulled it off him to kiss down his chest and abs. Yuuri loves wearing the clothes he strips from Viktor.

"No," Viktor's drowsy voice comes from the bed, where he's sprawled on top of messy sheets. "Why?"

Yuuri spreads his arms, displaying the way the fabric sits on his body. "I guess we're the same size."

"Lovely," Viktor yawns. "I can buy clothes for both of us. Dress you up a little."

Yuuri smiles at him, shaky and fragile, short-lived.

Yuuri's body has changed a lot since he'd retired, and he doesn't really mind. Neither of them does, as far as he can tell. Viktor might have been cruel about his weight when he first came to Hasetsu, but Yuuri weighs more now than he used to in the off-season and the only change is completely neutral: it's in the way Viktor touches him.

The new favorite cuddle position has Viktor's face pressed into Yuuri's stomach, where he can kiss and nuzzle in while Yuuri strokes his hair and enjoys the occasional adoring gaze aimed up at him. When they kiss, Viktor finds every soft spot in his body and grabs it, his fingers sinking in, and he might groan and kiss Yuuri harder, or murmur words of praise and affection against his lips.

It's lovely. It really is. Sweet and comfortable and loving in that special way that belongs to Viktor.

The only moments of real insecurity quieted after Yuuri made a not-really-joking comment, saying, "No calling me names and banning me from the rink?" and Viktor only frowned at him and replied, "Why? Are you planning to compete next season?"

So Yuuri doesn't mind. He really doesn't. They still exercise a lot, though less than they used to. He's as strong as before, even if his skating isn't the same without the constant training. His pole dancing is just as good, and he can easily pick Viktor up to watch his eyes light up.

But the obvious adoration doesn't stop Yuuri from regretting that he doesn't swim in Viktor's clothes anymore. It all fits now, in a way his own old clothes don't.

He doesn't really mind the change. Until he does.

It's worse whenever Viktor notices.

"You're beautiful," Viktor tells him, insistent, like he does every time.

This time they're in the studio, surrounded by mirrors, and Viktor just caught Yuuri with his eyes darting back and forth between Viktor's body and his own. Whenever he finds Yuuri scrutinizing his own figure, Viktor uses a very specific tone. Behind the tenderness of it hides steel, an attempt to leave no place for argument.

The notion that he's beautiful is not something Yuuri feels like arguing with. There's no doubt that Viktor truly does find him attractive. And although Viktor would find this an insulting understatement, Yuuri had already admitted to himself that if this body wasn't his own, he would have found it... on the handsome side of average. Reassurance that he looks good is strangely unfitting. It's missing the point.

"I wish you didn't do that," Yuuri says quietly.

"Do what?" Viktor frowns. "Compliment you?"

"Yes."

"You love compliments."

"Not... Not when it's like this."

"Like what?"

"Like it's for me," Yuuri says, and he doesn't understand it any better than Viktor, who seems to go from confused to completely baffled. "Anyway, that's not the issue. Being beautiful or not is not the issue."

Viktor's eyes narrow. It's an expression Yuuri knows. Curious, considering, analyzing.

"What is the issue, then?"

"It's... " Yuuri glances at the wall of mirrors. His reflection looks pained. "It's weird. And complicated."

To address this objection, Viktor shifts to sit more comfortably. It's quietly patient and kind in a way Yuuri isn't sure he'll ever get used to.

He groans, defeated.

"Okay. Okay, it's. I know there's never been a huge difference between us, in terms of size?" Yuuri gestures vaguely between them, nervous. "It's not like I'm the smallest person there is, or you're a giant or anything. But... I liked feeling smaller. I'm still shorter, but I don't feel smaller anymore."

"Huh," Viktor frowns again, a different frown that tells Yuuri he's going to be thinking and working through this explanation for a while. "It really is weird. Okay."

The way Viktor uses the word "weird" isn't meant to be insulting or judgmental. It's a neutral statement of fact: it's not an insecurity Viktor is used to hearing about, so he unthinkingly echoes the term Yuuri used. Occasional insensitive remarks are a part of life, especially when Viktor is deep in thought and isn't focusing on picking his words properly. Usually Yuuri doesn't mind. For the first time in a while, it stings.

Getting back to his warm up, Yuuri leaves Viktor to his thoughts. He's obviously formulating a plan, a way to ease the strange insecurities if not fix them. The only idea Yuuri can think of is returning to his competition weight, and he doesn't like it. It takes too much work to maintain, consumes too much of him. And if Viktor goes back to pushing him on his weight...

That would hurt.

Viktor doesn't try to change Yuuri's minimal workout routine at all. He doesn't create meal plans for a diet. He doesn't comment on Yuuri's shape, not in any way he wouldn't have done before their conversation.

It's not immediately noticeable, but what changes is, again, how Viktor touches him.

He doesn't give up on his affectionate snuggles to Yuuri's stomach, but it's not the favorite anymore. He returns to cuddling Yuuri the way he used to, with Yuuri's head tucked under his chin. He starts kissing Yuuri's forehead and the top of his head as frequently as he can manage, reminding Yuuri of their height difference, the one part where Yuuri is still smaller. These changes satisfy a need Yuuri doesn't understand, and that's enough.

Not for Viktor. Viktor is intent on giving him more.

It starts with Viktor naked after a bath, holding out ropes in front of Yuuri. Yuuri smiles and reaches for them, but Viktor doesn't hand them over.

"I thought I could tie you up this time."

"Oh." Yuuri blinks. "Umm. Sure."

"So enthusiastic," Viktor teases and kisses his nose. "Don't say yes to humor me, Yuuri. I'm pushy enough without your help."

"No, no, I want to!" Yuuri says quickly, "It's just that I usually have to ask, right? Since when do you pass up a chance to be tied up?"

"Yuuri, darling, it's like you don't know me at all. The only thing I like more than letting you spoil me is spoiling you."

Yuuri laughs. It's not wrong, but Viktor usually prefers spoiling him while following rather than leading. To truly satisfy Viktor, Yuuri had to learn to be very selfish with his orders.

"I don't deserve you," he says and leans up for a kiss.

"You're in my hands tonight and your first order is to never repeat those words." Viktor's arm wraps around Yuuri's waist and kisses his lips softly. There's a familiar spark of excitement in Viktor's eyes that means he has a surprise prepared. "Strip and get on the bed, my love."

As he works the rope around Yuuri's body, most of Viktor's touches are simply practical. Still affectionate, caressing Yuuri's skin as he goes, but for Viktor it's still a show of considerable restraint. When they’re not playing, he's on Yuuri before their shirts fall to the floor. He always wants to be touching. This desire doesn't vanish just because Viktor pretends to be patient. It shifts, showing instead on Viktor's face in the form of raw hunger. Yuuri can never look at it for too long.

Yuuri is placed sitting on the bed, his back to the headboard. His legs are free, and since he isn't kneeling he'll be able to move them easily for comfort and some balance. But his arms are tied to wrap around the front of his body with dark blue rope. Viktor's favorite color to have on him. The ropework is more intricate than either of them usually makes it, and there are still lengths of rope at the corner of the bed. Viktor probably bought more especially. Yuuri can't imagine they had this much in the house.

Once Viktor is done, he goes through every section and double checks it, fitting a finger under the bonds and looking to see that everything is the way he wants it. Once satisfied he sits back, taking the chance to trail his fingers over Yuuri's skin one more time. Spreading warmth that sinks into Yuuri's body and makes him shiver.

"You're beautiful," Viktor breathes, and it sounds right this time. Like Viktor has no choice but to say it, like the words escape on their own, riding an exhale. Yuuri has to close his eyes.

A finger under his chin prompts him to look back up at Viktor. "Okay?"

Yuuri swallows. "Of course."

"Good. Now..." Viktor licks his lips as he runs a finger along Yuuri's mouth, hesitating. "I... didn't think this through. You never did this, and to have the first time tied up..."

"Never did what?"

Viktor shakes his head. He breathes in and out slowly, and then sticks two fingers into Yuuri's mouth. Despite his surprise, Yuuri automatically starts sucking on them.

"Okay, good. Now... Keep your mouth like that, but try to scream."

Yuuri does. It comes out muffled, but very distinct. A clear sound of distress.

"Great, nothing like a moan." Viktor says and removes his fingers from Yuuri's mouth. "That's our safeword now, okay?"

"Okay," Yuuri echoes, confusion making it sound like he's returning the question.

It's enough, so Viktor kisses him. "Thank you."

The plan becomes clear when Viktor rises on his knees, leaning on the headboard and threading his fingers through Yuuri's hair. The new position places Viktor's cock in front of his face. Yuuri's mouth waters immediately.

"Oh."

Viktor laughs softly. "Yes."

It is a first, having his mouth fucked. Usually their roles here are reversed — Viktor is practically addicted to having Yuuri use his mouth — but even Viktor never experienced this while tied up. Now that it's a possibility, Yuuri has to know what it feels like.

He opens his mouth before Viktor can tell him to, and the ropes allow him to lean forward, so he does, intending to lick Viktor's cock and take it into his mouth.

"Impatient," Viktor scolds him, smiling as he pulls away despite Yuuri's protest.

"Let's swap and see how patient you'll be."

Viktor laughs again. "Is that how the game goes, now?"

Yuuri settles back, his eyes lingering on Viktor's cock. The familiar taste still missing from his mouth.

"I know you're okay with deepthroating, but it's not going to feel the same when it's a thrust. Do you want me to just let you do it, like a normal blowjob?"

"No. I..." Yuuri pauses, glancing down. "I want this."

"Look at me, darling," Viktor strokes Yuuri's hair, encouraging his head to tilt up a little.

Yuuri obeys, looking up, and — oh.

Viktor is so high above him, practically towering over him, and something about Viktor's hand at the base of his skull as he looks down at Yuuri...

Heat floods Yuuri's body, drowning him. With an exhale, his muscles relax. He leans back instead of forward, pressing into Viktor's hand. His new anchor.

"I want you to look up today," Viktor tells him. "We do have a safe... sound, but I want to know how you're doing."

"Yeah," he says, his own voice sounding a little distant. "Yes. I'll try."

"Thank you."

Viktor's thumb strokes the back of Yuuri's head, trailing sparks that set fire to Yuuri's blood. The intense reaction shocks a gasp out of him.

Viktor's cock touches Yuuri's lips. On his face there's more tension than anticipation, and it pulls Yuuri back into the moment. He can't be drifting. He wants to do this right, make sure Viktor's idea works the way he'd envisioned it.

With that goal, Yuuri opens his mouth and finally, finally welcomes Viktor's cock inside. He moans.

Viktor exhales heavily, shakily, eyes locked on Yuuri's. His fingers find hold in the short hair, and he keeps Yuuri gently in place as he starts rocking slowly in and out.

Knowing Viktor will be looking for signs of distress, Yuuri makes his pleasure as clear and visible as possible, vocalizing it as much as he can. It's easy when the sight of Viktor so far above him makes him desperate.

Keeping his eyes from closing is easier than Yuuri had anticipated. In fact, Yuuri is certain it would be physically painful to tear his gaze away when, despite the apprehension, Viktor looks down at him with such warm affection that he wants to melt.

The lines of Viktor's body are gorgeous. From Yuuri's angle the simple ceiling light is placed behind Viktor and makes him into a dark, glowing figure. Sitting and feeling so small in comparison, with nothing but Viktor filling his line of sight, Yuuri is reminded of the days he'd seen this man as a god. It's better now. Viktor is better, happier off his pedestal. Goofy and silly and doting and smiling brighter than anything else. He's a person, and he chose to be Yuuri's person. He's better than a god could ever be.

Yuuri starts sucking harder, moving his tongue under Viktor's cock, moaning around it, messily licking wherever he can reach. Trying to translate this sense of awe and gratitude into gifts of sensation that shoot through Viktor's body. In return there's a surprised gasp and a groan and Viktor's hips break their rhythm, snapping forward, hitting deep. Viktor quickly gathers himself and returns to a more careful pace even as he starts trembling, but now Yuuri has a taste of him letting go.

He wants more.

From his current position the options for pleading are limited, but Yuuri does his best. Looking at him with wide eyes and leaning up, struggling against Viktor's hold on his hair, making repeated noises of complaint to ask for more. With a sudden motion, Yuuri leans forward right when Viktor thrusts in. It hits the back of his throat and he only just manages to avoid coughing.

"Are you trying to kill me?" Viktor stops, panting. "Is it not enough that I have to see how you look down there?"

Yuuri moans, long and very deliberate.

Laughing breathlessly, Viktor swears and thrusts in again, hitting the roof of Yuuri's mouth. He pulls back and Yuuri tries to follow, but soon only the head is left between his lips. Yuuri shoots him a look of dismay but Viktor only laughs and shakes his head, catching his breath.

"Trust me. Just a moment."

So Yuuri waits, sucking on the part he still gets to have. Eventually Viktor exhales and pushes inside slowly, as far as he can until Yuuri pulls back.

"Comfortable?" Viktor retreats a little. "Okay. Sorry, I wanted to see how much... I'll try not to go too deep, but I have no idea if it'll actually work. Do you remember what to do if it's too much?"

With lips stretched around Viktor's cock, Yuuri tries to answer the question the best way he can: he screams. At first muffled, and then loud and clear when Viktor jumps back, flying away from him so fast he's bouncing on the bed.

"Yuuri!" Viktor cries and starts howling with laughter.

"Give it back, it was a demonstration!" Yuuri protests, feeling an awful blush heating his face and neck.

Viktor doesn't stop laughing, doubling over, his entire body shaking with it. "That's the strangest thing I've ever felt, I can't believe you did that!"

"You asked if I remembered!" Yuuri argues. If his hands weren't tied to his body he would have covered his face with them.

"Nod! Or take it out of your mouth, I would have let you move back!"

There's no way Yuuri is going to admit these are reasonable options. "Maybe next time don't have conversations with me when your dick is in my mouth."

Still laughing hysterically, Viktor falls on his back. Yuuri starts kicking Viktor's legs and Viktor squirms and rolls around, bending them in an attempt to protect himself or evade the kicks.

"Vitya! Stop laughing at me!"

Viktor says "Okay, okay!" but it takes him a few moments more. Yuuri keeps kicking until the laughter quiets down and Viktor sits up and catches one of his ankles. He drops a kiss to it and comes back to kneel in front of Yuuri, eyes still glittering with amusement. When he sees Yuuri's face, his expression softens a little.

"I'm sorry, darling," he says and strokes Yuuri's cheek.

Making a little noise, Yuuri drops his head on Viktor's shoulder. Viktor's arms wrap around him instantly, automatically, as if on impulse. It makes him feel better. Affection is so natural for them.

"It's fine," he says. "We laugh at each other. And ourselves."

"Yeah," Viktor says, quiet and vague enough that it's more an encouragement to say more than an agreement. The silent understanding eases further the twisting feeling in Yuuri's chest.

"It was funny," Yuuri concedes with a sigh. "I don't think I would have had better control in your place."

Viktor kisses the side of his head. "Should I untie you? Or do you still want me to... give it back?"

"Oh, no," Yuuri groans at the reminder and laughs a little too. "I know I'll never do that again. Unless, you know. Unless I actually need you to stop."

"You want to go on, then?"

"I think so. I want to see what you have planned."

Viktor doesn't tell him they can do it again anytime. They both know it. He buries his face in Yuuri's hair and hugs him tighter.

"And do we keep the same safe sound?"

"Stop calling it a safe sound."

"Safe scream."

"Vitya," Yuuri laughs.

"Are we keeping it?"

"Yes," Yuuri says and sits up to allow Viktor to see that he's smiling.

"Wow," Viktor sighs and kisses him. "I love you so much."

It's a little abrupt, but this is Viktor. It makes sense. And after so long, he can return the words with ease.

"I love you too."

Cupping Yuuri's cheeks, Viktor kisses his nose and then his lips again. At first softly, but deepening with each little movement of their lips. It's the kind of kiss that makes Yuuri feel cherished, reminds him that Viktor is willing to dedicate any length of time to his safety and happiness. When Yuuri has Viktor bound, he kisses to claim him, telling Viktor "You're mine" with every swipe of his tongue. Viktor loves it, needs it, begs for it. When he has Yuuri like this, though, his kisses are the opposite. They're gifts and promises of love and devotion, pouring into him rather than taking. Filling Yuuri's heart and leaving him gasping for breath.

Viktor's smile is extremely self satisfied when he's done. "Feel any better?"

Yuuri lets out an incredulous laugh. "You're... Wow. Wow, Vitya."

"I'll take that as a yes," Viktor says. "Enough to finish what we started?"

It draws Yuuri's eyes to Viktor's cock. It's not soft exactly, but not nearly as hard as it was before Yuuri's stunt.

Biting his lip, Yuuri nods.

"Yuuri," Viktor says, his tone a little more serious despite the smile. "Nothing stopping you this time. Talk to me."

Yuuri takes a deep breath and, with his blush quickly returning, says, "Give it back."

Another surprised laugh bursts from Viktor and he presses a firm, delighted kiss to Yuuri's mouth. "I adore you," he says with his forehead resting against Yuuri's.

"Me too," Yuuri says and closes his eyes for a moment to bask in the proximity. Soon Viktor's face will be too far to feel their breaths mingling. "I still want you to... You know."

"Hmm?"

"Be less careful."

"Okay," Viktor says and kisses Yuuri's forehead. "Okay. Let's try that."

There's something awkward about it this time when Viktor lifts himself up on his knees again, but it's okay. They can handle it and push past it.

Viktor above him is still a vision, and his cock in Yuuri's mouth is incredible regardless of the softness. There's a different kind of sound Viktor makes when his cock is sucked into hardness. A little more vulnerable and high-pitched. Yuuri doesn't entirely understand why that is, but it's a little quirk of Viktor's. One that took him a while to notice and he loves being reminded of.

With Yuuri's dedicated attention, it doesn't take long for Viktor to be fully hard again.

Viktor's hand comes to rest higher on Yuuri's head, where the hair is a little longer and easier to grab and pull. Slow motions in and out of his mouth make Yuuri shiver and he almost forgets to keep his eyes open. He tastes precum again, feels it leaking into his mouth, washing away any lingering embarrassment.

"You feel so good, you have no idea," Viktor smiles down at him, and the return of his ragged breathing is incredibly satisfying. "Ready?"

In response, Yuuri lets his jaw go slack.

The first strokes are still slow, allowing Yuuri to add to Viktor's sensations with little movements of his tongue. But they quickly speed up, just barely careful of the depth. Yuuri can feel the moment Viktor starts seeking pleasure, his focus shifting to looking for more. His eyes seem to glaze over with an out of focus expression of adoration that leaves no place for the original worried search for signs of discomfort.

Viktor was right when he said it feels nothing like deepthroating the way Yuuri is used to, when he can slowly swallow it down. All of his focus goes into staying as relaxed as possible as Viktor becomes the one struggling to maintain eye contact, losing himself in Yuuri's mouth.

The ropes keep him from stroking his own cock, but seeing Viktor coming apart above him makes it ache with neglect, his whole body alight with need. Viktor must have a separate plan for him, but Yuuri can't imagine anything being better than looking up at this. Can't imagine anything better than what it does to him. Can he come from this alone, with no physical stimulation other than Viktor thrusting into his mouth? It feels like he might. He wants to find out, even if it makes no sense at all. Saliva trickles down from the corner of his lips but the only thing that bothers him is the way the tears, caused by Viktor driving deep, start to blur his vision.

Words of praise pour onto Yuuri between gasps and his mind struggles to process them. Somehow the distance between them makes the praise heavier as it falls down on him. It's too much, too big, too overwhelming for him to handle. Even with the words being incomplete and broken, cutting off so often to give way to another sound of pleasure.

With a hiss and a final broken keen, warm cum spills into Yuuri's mouth. He relishes the familiar flavor as Viktor hurries to pull back, leaving streaks and drops to fall on Yuuri's chin and chest. Viktor collapses against him, arms wrapping around Yuuri's shoulders as he tries to piece himself back together.

"Shit," Viktor mutters and turns his head to kiss him. "You're a menace."

Yuuri laughs, a little sore, and leans forward for another kiss. He licks into Viktor's mouth and Viktor moans and leans into it, chasing the intimacy of the flavor.

"My wonderful Yuuri."

"I thought I'm a menace," Yuuri teases.

Smiling, Viktor shakes his head and starts massaging the muscles of Yuuri's thigh. His cock still aches and the rest of him is still bound by ropes.

"I really didn't think this through."

"I'm fine," Yuuri hurries to reassure him. "It's okay. It wasn't long at all, you’ve tied me up for much longer than this."

"And you call me ridiculous." The corner of Viktor's mouth quirks up. "I wasn't going to deny you an orgasm, you know. Just maybe save the rest of the plan for later."

"We can keep going! What's the next part?"

Laughing, Viktor kisses Yuuri's forehead and moves away. He comes back with another length of rope, a bottle of lube, and one of their vibrating plugs that has close range remote control by an app. Yuuri shivers when Viktor's phone is placed near his thigh, within his range of vision. Taunting him. He won't be able to touch it and change the setting at all.

The first ropes go around his legs, tying the calves to his thighs. They don't often keep each other in a kneeling position for long — their careers weren't kind to their knees — but Yuuri's legs were left free, so it's fine. It was probably intentional, like tying Yuuri's hands in front of his body and not behind him. Minimizing strain.

"Tell me if you get uncomfortable," Viktor reminds him, and pushes Yuuri forward so his chest almost meets his thighs. Looping new rope into the existing design, he forces Yuuri to stay like that, tied into a little ball.

This position will be harder to keep, and it makes access to his cock impossible. Yuuri wonders about it. He's used to being held open, vulnerable and helpless and visible. This is almost the opposite.

"Vitya?"

"I wanted to wait until I can fuck you again, but like I said, poor planning on my part," Viktor says, which explains nothing. "It doesn't mean you shouldn't have your fun, though, does it?"

The cap on the lube opens and Yuuri listens to the wet sounds it creates when Viktor applies it to the toy.

Yuuri gulps and tries to relax again. He closes his eyes, focusing on how it feels to breathe in this position. Rather than be helpful, the exercise leaves him uneasy. It reminds him of the way he curls up when he panics.

The plug touches his rim and pushes in, slow and measured. A welcome distraction. The stretch doesn't bother him at all. It's not their thickest one, but it's been tried and tested so they know it's a good tool for taking Yuuri apart. He bites his lip in anticipation for Viktor's particular brand of torture, flicking between the settings and keeping Yuuri on edge.

It's not what he gets today.

As soon as the plug is inside, Viktor drapes himself over Yuuri's body, holding most of his own weight to keep from adding too much strain. The warmth of him is felt all along the skin of Yuuri's back. With a touch to Viktor's phone, the plug starts vibrating on a very low setting.

Yuuri makes a noise at that, and Viktor shushes him before he can speak. "I know you can't come like this, promise I'll change it up in a moment. I just want..."

An arm wraps around his shoulders, circling Yuuri in a hug that feels like it holds... all of him. The other travels along his skin, touching and caressing and reaching everywhere on his body. His thighs, his knees, his calves.

Viktor is everywhere.

"How does it feel?"

It feels like he's going to cry.

"Good," Yuuri chokes, just to get to stay like this, to have more and maybe with time understand what it is about this that makes him ache deep.

There's a moment of silence with only the plug being heard. Then Viktor kisses Yuuri's shoulder and reaches to turn up the setting, skipping a few at once and making Yuuri yelp.

"There," Viktor tells him, barely heard past the sudden wash of sensations rushing through Yuuri's body. "Just enjoy it, my love."

There's more after. More of Viktor's voice, more of his touch, more of his kisses. More of Yuuri's moans and gasps. But it all blurs together, carrying him, cradling him as he drifts. He's surrounded and safe, everything quiet and contained. He feels small, enveloped in an embrace that holds his whole body. A little bubble of calm.

He spends an eternity under Viktor, and it's still too soon when he comes and wet heat lands on his stomach and thighs. Suddenly it's too much, but Yuuri doesn't have time to complain before Viktor scrambles to turn the toy off.

He's still catching his breath when Viktor cuts the bonds, impatient in his urgency to get Yuuri free. Not much rope will be salvaged from this, but Yuuri doesn't have it in him to regret it. His body spreads itself on the bed and different aches become known. He groans.

Viktor gently moves him around, making sure to take away all the ropes that ended up under Yuuri's body. Then he starts massaging different muscles, working along Yuuri's limbs and lingering, lavishing extra attention when there's an audible response from Yuuri, pausing to kiss him whenever Yuuri asks for it. He must be asking for it, because Viktor's timing is perfect. But he's dazed and tired and not completely aware of what's happening beyond Viktor's grounding touch.

"Should I draw you a bath, darling?" Viktor asks when he's done.

"No. I want a blanket."

"I'll get you a blanket and then prepare the bath, then."

"No. You can't go."

"How will I get you a blanket?"

"Don't care."

Laughing, Viktor flops on top of him, becoming a very affectionate blanket that peppers kisses wherever it can reach.

"How's this?"

Yuuri melts under the weight, sighing. Viktor's body covers his, but it isn't the complete embrace he'd just experienced. Almost like a normal cuddle. Perfect for the way he feels right now, as he's coming down from the intense experience.

"Thank you."

"Bath soon, though."

"Mmm," Yuuri says, too sleepy to argue.

When Yuuri wakes up, he's being carried in Viktor's arms. It confuses him for a moment, until they pass sideways through the door to their bathroom and he smells the salts Viktor likes to spoil him with.

Yuuri surges up to hug him and Viktor cries, "Yuuri! Careful!"

Admittedly, it wasn't the smartest choice when they both depend on Viktor's balance. But Yuuri is too exhausted to think and they didn't fall so he just nuzzles into Viktor's neck and says, words still heavy with sleep, "Payback. You jump on me all the time when you're happy."

"Oh, now you're happy about the bath, are you? You were so grumpy when I insisted."

"No, it's not a thank you hug," Yuuri lies. "Now you have to get in the bath with me."

"Holding on so I can't let you go?" Viktor gasps and shoots him a deeply offended look, "As if I would ever!"

They settle into the bath one after the other, Viktor behind him so Yuuri can curl up against him comfortably. The warm water offers another kind of enveloping embrace. His mind is calm and clear in a way he isn't used to.

"Thank you," he says, and gets a kiss on his forehead. "I... didn't know I could feel that way."

Viktor gives him a smile made of pure delight and wraps both arms around Yuuri's torso.

"How did you know?" Yuuri asks.

"Know what?"

"That actually being small wasn't the issue. That I wanted to feel... umm..."

"Yes?"

"Held? No, that's not exactly right, you hold me all the time. I'm not sure I have the right word."

"It's okay," Viktor soothes, hand stroking up and down the side of Yuuri's body. "I know what you mean. And I didn't know it was what you needed. This was an experiment."

"An experiment?"

"Sure," Viktor says easily, as if this isn't a big deal. "I have plenty of ideas I wanted to try if these didn't work."

"Is that so?" Yuuri asks, teasing just to get himself through a crashing wave of grateful affection. It's overwhelming how dedicated Viktor is to him.

"I might try them all anyway," Viktor says in a low voice and trails a finger down Yuuri's spine. "Just for fun."

Emotion makes Yuuri's laughter strange, but he hopes Viktor hears his genuine fond amusement.

"I can't wait."

**Author's Note:**

> If you've read this far, thank you very much.  
> In my opening notes I called this story "intensely personal" and really I can't think of a better way to describe it. It's porn and I hope you enjoyed it as porn, but it lays out personal insecurities, needs, and points of discomfort that I don't really see expressed and talked about. I did my best to give them words.
> 
> Find me and my art on [tumblr](https://rikichie.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/rikichie_)! Always happy to make new friends.
> 
> Comments are always appreciated. Even if you found the fic years after posting.


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